Have a laugh at our collection of dumb blonde jokes!

Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?

A: It's too hard to retrain them.



Q: What do you call a really smart blonde?

A: A golden retriever.



Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.



Q: What do you call three blondes in a Volkswagen?

A: FARFROMTHINKEN



Q: What do you call an eternity?

A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.



Q: What do you call three blondes, sitting at a bar, singing, drinking Tab, and eating apples?

A: The moron Tab & apple choir.



Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like Hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.



Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?

A: Penicillin.



Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

A: "Space. The final frontier......"



Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?

A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?Q: Did you hear about the blonde that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?

A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who almost caused a car wreck?

A: The spare tire in her trunk blew out.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?

A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?

A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.



Q: Did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?

A: She believed him.



Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?

A: It's called MAIDS - if they don't get one, they die.



Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?

A: They take off their makeup.



Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.



Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's whiteout on the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's writing on the whiteout.



Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?

A: When she farts, her knees bag.



Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.



Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

A: She fell out of the tree.



Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for French fries.



Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.



Q: How did the blonde die ice-fishing?

A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.



Q: How did the blonde get ready for Y2K?

A: She changed all her y's to k's.



Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?

A: She threw it off a cliff.



Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.



Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?

A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.



Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A1: Blow in her ear.

A2: Buy her another beer.



Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don't. They're born that way.



Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?

A: Flattered.



Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.

Q: What will she ask you?

A: "Is it mine?"



Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.



Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.



Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)



Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.



Q: How do you know if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a check book.

1. To get into heaven, you have to walk up 100 steps on the Staircase into Heaven. On each step, God tells a joke and you go to Hell if you laugh.

The brunette gets to the 50th step and bursts out laughing and goes to Hell.

The redhead gets to the 99th step, goes hysterical, and gets sent to Hell.

The blonde gets all the way past the 100th step, and at the Gateway of Heaven, she bursts out laughing. God asks "Why are you laughing?" She responds, "I just got the first one!"



2. BLONDE IN A BMW >A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. >After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. >She says, "What's the story?" >He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." >She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



3. Q: what do blondes do with their assholes in the morning?

A: pack their lunch and send them to work.



4. Q: what do blonds and spaghetti have in common?

A: they both wriggle when you eat them.



5. Q: what do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

A: they both have black roots.



6. Q: what do UFOs and smart blondes have in common?

A: you keep hearing about them, but never see any.



7. Why did the blonde have square boobs? she forgot to take the tissue out the box.